Sentimentality & Discernment
by itakethewords
Summary: Short vignettes of Edward and Bella's thoughts in Twilight. Also, the feelings about the two's relationship from other's POV. Dives deeper into the emotions of the lovers and their environment. Permanent Hiatus. Considered complete.
1. Author's Note and Disclaimer

**_Author's Note:  
_**9/10/07  
Well, what can I say?  
I basically lost my flash drive that had anything and everything that I write on it...it kind of sucked not having it all summer. I eventually found it in my bathroom (please don't ask).  
Anyway, I am putting up the one chapter I had before I lost it. Then, later this week, I'll be posting around six or so to make up for the fact that I haven't updated since, what, July?!

I am sooo sorry. You must all hate me!

Anyhoo...I don't own the **TWILIGHT **series or the characters. They are all property of Stephenie Meyer.

kage

**__**

**_Author's Note:  
_**7/7/2007  
Yes...I AM lazy. But that's mainly because this is my first free day off since last week, and honestly, I will enjoy it! muahahaha!  
Plus, I've kind of ran out of steam and I'm sure you'll notice it in these next to pieces. I definitely plan of posting way better ones in the near (very near) future.  
But if you like them, go ahead and say so. Everyone can like what they will...

**Disclaimer:** No _Twilight_ for me, nope!

**_Author's Note:  
_**6/19/2007  
I've got two more up today and I plan on doing two more later this week. I hope you all enjoy!  
I may be a bit busy this week; I'm a huge procrastinator so I've a lot of things to do. I most likely won't update until Friday or Saturday.

I don't own "**Twilight**" or the characters!

**_Author's Note:  
_**6/13/2007  
Looking back, I am soooo sorry! I forgot all about this story with Graduation and Prom and everything!  
But I'm making up for it by posting four today and four more later this week!  
Enjoy!

Disclaimer--I Don't Own **Twilight** or the chararacters!

**_Author's Note:_**  
4/9/2007-4/10/2007  
Okay, sorry about the wait on the update; wasn't letting me upload documents for some reason.  
In honor of my birthday being the 7th, I'm DOUBLE posting! That's right! Two vignettes today and two tomorrow!  
--clapclap--

Enjoy! They are Lauren & Jasper (respectively) for today and Angela and Esme for tomorrow!

P.S.--I don't own **Twilight** or the characters!

**_Author's Note:  
_**3/27/2007

Okay, sorry that I made you wait for another installment. I wrote them and forgot an assignment so I couldn't post them. So now, here they are. _Temptation_ is Edward and _Nosy_ is Bella.

I don't own Twilight or the characters, so don't sue me, Mrs. Meyer!

**_Author's Note:  
_**3/19/2007

Yeah, I'm lazy...and I get distracted easily. Sorry about the wait. Nearly 6 month college prep makes my head hurt.  
_Burning Hatred_ and _Curiosity_ are in Rosalie's and Alice's POV respectively.

Thanks so much to those who are reading and especially to those who review. I will soon start sending personal messages of thanks to those who do review. Please feel free to ask questions or give contructive criticism!

In case some people are lost, here's a recap of the chapter's people:  
Chapter One: Relentless, Bella  
Chapter Two: Sea of Faces, Bella  
Chapter Three: Heart, Charlie  
Chapter Four: Slight Obsession, Mike  
Chapter Five: Burning Hatred, Rosalie  
Chapter Six: Curiosity, Alice

Kage Kasai

**_Author's Note:  
_**9/30/2006  
Sorry about the long delay in updating. I won't give any lame excuse...I was lazy.  
But here are two new parts to the tale.  
_Heart_ is in Charlie's POV._ Slight Obsession_ is in Mike's. When it comes to each vingette, I won't say who's it is. But Bella's won't be in 1st Person, since we had that in **Twilight.** I will try to make each one clear enough so you can figure it out, though.

P.S.--I don't own the idea of **Twilight/New Moon** , nor any of the characters. Much of what is written is just opinion.

**_Author's Note_**:

Hello! This is authoress, Kage Kasai. But, to keep it short, just call me Tash. This is my first **Twilight **fan fiction that I've posted on f f. net. It's a series of short vignettes of what Bella and Edward were thinking throughout the book. It also covers the feelings of others as they view Bella & Edward grow together.  
Bella's thoughts are in the universal perspective, while Edwards are in the first person (since we had that for Bella in the actual book).

I say it now, and I will try to remember every time I post a new chapter, **Twilight** is NOT mine, but Stephenie Meyer's, though if she's willing to share…

I basically have no life, but as boring as that sounds, I can't always post frequently. But I will try my hardest to post at least once a week, two vignettes an update. If there ever is a time where I do not update for longer than three weeks, than I've most likely gone crazy…. (Lack of sleep and working can do that!)

I am going to try my hardest to put to words the feelings of the characters that Ms. Meyer did not already show, or I will try to dive deeper into what has been presented. Just as a forewarning, I may throw a few things in there to mix things up. And I will always try my hardest to edit my work and have it spelling and grammar perfect.

That said,

Enjoy!

Kage Kasai


	2. Relentless

_Disclaimer:_ I do not own Twilight, that is Stephenie Meyer.  
(6-27-2006)  


* * *

Relentless 

Parting with a loved one is never easy. That is why she tries so hard not to be just as cliché.

She holds it in, bottles it up. She just wants to be strong, not wantingworry to overwhelm her. It creeps slowly to the pit of her stomach with nervousness and settles.The trip is uneventful and dull. When she gets there, a stale relationship greets her.

Uncomfortable silence hails her ears and the awkwardness rises. She doesn't think it can get any worse. By the end of the night, it's raining.

The raindrops come relentlessly on the rooftop. The tears come relentlessly on the pillowcase.

One day down—who knows how many more to go.


	3. Sea of Faces

Sea of Faces

She tries so hard to get out of bed. Maybe it's all just a dream—a nightmare.

All night she tossed and turned because of the rain, fitful thanks to her tears. One morning in, and she's already started a routine.

The chief is with his_ family_ and it's off to school for her.

One look at the woman and the word _gossip_ comes to her mind.

After the bell rings, eyes follow her shadow. Whispers and attention grab at her mind like screams and beatings. She wants to melt into the walls.


	4. Heart

Heart

I'm so happy that she's come. I miss Bells whenever she's not around. She reminds me so much

of Renée, it's shocking. I'm just glad she's more level-headed, though. Lord knows what I'd do

then.

The whole town has been so excited to meet Bella. I know she'll blow them all away. I'm hoping

that she decides to finish the year out here in Forks. Maybe even decide to stay until graduation at the end.

Graduation. She's grown up so much. Our fishing trips with Billy and the twins doesn't seem that

long ago, only yesterday. Her wanting to stay in Forks for this long, even though I know she hates it

just as much as Renée does, makes me so happy that she wants to spend this much time with me; a miracle.

She hasn't been here more than seventy-two hours yet and I'm already attaching myself. I know

that isn't a good idea. Her mother expects her to come crying back to her before the end of the

month, and, I guess somewhere in my heart, I do too. I don't want to admit it. I know it shouldn't

be like this, but…

Bells leaving would potentially break my heart.


	5. Slight Obsession

Slight Obsession

I totally forgot about what the teacher was saying. I cannot believe Chief Swan's daughter is that hot. What is wrong with the world when girls like her are missing from your life for this long? Isabella—Bella— makes all these girls look so homely and plain. I know it's not just me thinking that either. I see the other guys glancing at her. I won't loose.

I've been helping her around the past few days, and I can tell that she's warming up to me. I know how it feels being new, especially to Forks High. Glad to be of service. Just glad the creep Cullen is acting just as he always does.

Jess and the other girls are kinda mad that I'm paying attention to Bella. Jess will get over it; after all, she's a good friend. I can tell that that nerd Eric and pretty boy Tyler are getting mad that Bella is now **my** friend. If I had it my way, I wouldn't share her.

She will be mine.


	6. Burning Hatred

Burning Hatred

This girl.

Who does she think she is? She runs off our brother and goes on her with her life as if he hadn't left! How dare she?

Looking at her makes the hate I feel for who I am even more intense. If a small, fragile-looking girl like her can intimidate Edward, what is she? Edward is one of the strongest in our group; he has a will of iron.

Such a girl like her has an innocence I can only dream of; something I can_ never_ have. I am of the dead and forgotten. She is a new seedling, I tumbleweed. Even with my ethereal beauty, there is something that draws not only the human males, but Edward as well.

My hatred for her privilege runs deep. I want what she has. There is nothing on this earth or in the next life (of humans, for there is nothing for us) that can give it to me. The best thing I can do to her is kill her.

No, wait. I can give her thee life of the damned. Show her what it is like to be me.

_Monster._

Perhaps it would end my hatred. My loathing might end. But what will happen when another girl comes along, whether it is Forks or our next home?

There is nothing to gain by killing her. Turning her would satisfy me for the moment. And I would not want to see Edward so heartbroken, though this girl may be the end of us all.

What do I do? What can I do but voice my thoughts?


	7. Curiosity

Curiosity

Isabella Swan. This girl has so many futures, so many impacts on Life itself I don't know what to think of the girl.

I see her with that Michael boy, then, in the next moment, Edward. Is she a fickle sort of creature? Or perhaps it is the people around her that confuse her.

I know for certain that Edward is one of those. He's nice to her one moment and cold the next. I warn him several times not to be that way, but he is a stubborn as ever.

There is something about Isabella. Whether it be her blood or something less tangible, I don't know, there is something magical.

Not magical in the literal sense, of course. But rather something alluring and kind graces her. She reminds me of the girl who haunted my visions months ago. Maybe she is that girl?

Just the other day, I saw Edward sinking his head toward her flesh. He stops before he completely kills her and brings her to our home, to Carlisle. Within days, the process is complete and she becomes a part of our family. Edward feels ashamed and Isabella dejected for _decades_.

This shocks me, shakes my core. Edward, who has a strong amount of control, breaks down and attacks this girl. I want, no, I _must_ know what it is about her that has my brother in a catch-22.

I know he wants her blood, but I can also see that he wants _her_. My curiosity for Isabella must be satiated soon. It may be too late if I don't.

I must meet her.


	8. Temptation

Temptation

I look at her, and my head spins.

Her blood is driving me mad, her smile insane.

Of every single human in this school, it is Bella Swan that has sought me out. Whether she is curious or stupid, I do not know. What I do know is she is a creature of another caliber. Persistent as well.

During the episode when Tyler's van nearly crushed her, she wouldn't let up on her questioning. The girl drove me crazy with her observations. I could not believe she had seen nearly every action I had done. She is a rarity on her own.

When I think of her eyes, large and brown—warm—looking at me with anger, I want to do something that would make her face alight with a smile. When she smiles over something small, I cannot help but to give up a small grin of my own. I am happy whenever Bella is.

Yet, there is the monster within me to contend with. A side of me that there is no hiding from. No running can let me escape it. It waits behind the shadows of my mind, patient for a time when it can pounce and take over. I can never let that happen with Bella around. She is the image of perfection. I am the sin that threatens to taint her. Like an angel with a snake at her feet, temptation only a breath away.

Even with the knowledge of my soulless temptation, she still lingers around me. She wants to know everything about me, and I her.

I just wish I could get inside her head.


	9. Nosy

Nosy

She wants to know more. There is some secret being kept. The Cullens are hiding something, every last one of them.

She wants to know everything. Everything about Edward Cullen, that is. He is the enigma that plagues her life. He is the temptation that tickles her brain. Just thinking of Edward sends her brain into a frenzy.

Who is he? How does he do those mysterious things? Why does he make every girl around him stutter and swoon? These are the questions that keep her up at night.

The one that is most important to her? Why does he pay any attention to her? Why her? Is she really something special, something more than a klutz? All she knows is that her heart goes mad when he is around and whenever he is in the room, he manages to drag her eyes to him. He is the North to her South.

He is the apple in her Eden, with questions still unanswered.

Who are you _really_, Edward Cullen?


	10. HellBent Jealousy

Hell-Bent Jealousy

Who does she think she is?

I mean, honestly, she's not even _that _good-looking. I have absolutely _no _idea why any of the Cullens would _want _to be around her…

I'm the one with the looks, the brains, and the popularity. Not to mention my family's place in Forks. I don't even want to think why Mike and Tyler are giving so much attention to her. Oh, yeah. And that scrawny Eric kid, too. Was she the class slut in Phoenix? Did she make sure her reputation followed her here too?

What is it about _Bella_?

Even after a month or two of being here, everyone is still drooling over her. I'm surprised she isn't carrying an umbrella to protect herself from the idiots who follow her. Mike is her own personal puppy, which I know isn't making Jessica any happier. And Tyler watches her whenever she's around.

Whatever magnetism is around her, I want it…NOW. Why is it she has all the attention? No one so much as bats an eyelash at me now. I mean, I have the porcelain blonde look. I wear the best clothes. I am **the **_hottest _girl in Forks High School, yet no one acknowledges it!

Bella, Bella, Bella…TO HELL WITH HER!


	11. Perfumed

Perfumed

I must admit, Isabella is a rare creature. She is around Edward like its no big deal, like she's afraid of nothing. She's so nonchalant about the whole thing, but I think that is because she really doesn't understand what could truly happen. Does she not realize how much control Edward is putting forth? Whenever she gets too close, I can see his eyes grow dark.

For her perfumed blood or his lust, I don't know.

Her smell, to me, is also very strong. But nowhere as near potent as it is for Edward. It reminds me of fresh flowers in a field. She does test my patience a bit more than others, since her smell clings to Edward, I am more aware of it than most of the teenage humans. I fear I may not get used to it before Edward changes her, like Alice says. It is hard, those days.

It would be a shame, too, since it seems like she would have the most enlightening conversations to contribute. Her emotions, as well, seem so unique. It feels like she has an aura of…_bliss_? I am not sure what else to call it.

All I know, I must keep all temptation away. I would not want Edward to be alone for yet another century.

Esme would kill me.


	12. Aura of Kindness

Aura of Kindness

_Bella seems nice. I like her._

_Why do you ask?_

_Don't I think she's conceited? Why would I?_

_I don't know, Lauren. I think you have a case of jealousy. _

I don't see why Lauren doesn't like her. I find her quite humorous and very kind. She sort of reminds me of me. Personally, Lauren is way more narcissistic than Bella ever could be. I kind of wish I was like Bella.

I mean, she was brave enough to actually _talk_ to the Cullens. She befriended the whole lot of them, and it seems like her and Edward are an item. Sometimes, her courage comes to me, I think.

Or, at least, I like to think so. I mean, I've done things, like standing up to Lauren just now, that I would have _never_ done before she was here.

I also wish I had a relationship like she and Edward have. I mean, they seem totally comfortable just being next to each other in Bio. They make it look easy. It's like they block out the world around them. Like only the two of them truly exist. Even though they aren't doing any PDA or anything ridiculous, I can actually _see_ their love, like it's an aura or something.

And could've sworn the day we watched a movie two weeks ago; I saw _sparks_ come from their table. I am going crazy? I think Mike might have seen it too, because he was in a bad mood the whole next day. Or maybe that's just because he's obsessed with Bella….

I don't know. I just with Bella the best. She is really good friend.

I just want to be like her.


	13. His Reason

His Reason

Destiny.

It's a fickle thing. You think you have it figured it out, and then something comes along and rocks your world. Or it will severely impact those around you, those you love so dearly. Their core is cracked, the soul carrying small, hairline breaks. The person who comes along, who changes what you thought was your destiny; they are here to fix you.

I have seen destiny play its tricks on myself, on my lover, and my adoptive children. Sometimes, it is cruel, other times it can give bliss. Never before have I seen it touch the heart of my Edward. He had his sights sure on being alone for the rest of eternity. He thought he _knew_, without a doubt, that he was content. When in truth, he knew nothing of content.

Contentment is Isabella Swan.

Isabella Swan is also a magnet.

For Edward.

For Trouble.

Yet, I know she makes my Edward happy. I can't contain the smile that I give every time I see _him_ smile. I know that smile is for Isabella. Knowing that Edward's heart didn't completely freeze over, I now know no relief such as this. My own heart couldn't have allowed seeing him with no reason.

A century alone was long enough, and Edward needs to realize this.

The girl sees stars when she looks at him.

And I know he's seeing constellations.


	14. Attention Grabber

-1**Attention-Grabber**

I tell no one of my dreams, especially my dad. He'd break the treaty in a heartbeat.

Ever moment of my dreams, every action. It all disturbs me. I wish for them to be only phantoms in my mind, jokes of my subconscious. But in my heart, I know that they are real.

I'd warn Charlie, but he'd only tell my dad.

The next best thing? To tell Bella herself. But I can tell that she thinks I'm a silly kid who lives on the reservation. A tag-a-long, a ghost of her memories when she was young. She's mentioned how much she hated this place.

But she sure has gotten comfortable around the Cullens. Not that I believe what my dad tells me, but honestly. Billy's old, so I can't blame him for letting his mind go. It's just...my dreams. Nightmares. They reflect everything Billy's telling me. I see wolves on the hunt.

They attack Doctor Cullen, bite down on his jugular and don't let go. I can hear he crunch on Esme Cullen's bones, snapped in two, and her blood spilling to the dirt.

I don't want anything bad to happen to the doctor's family, they seem nice, from what people from Forks say.

My dad has something against the Cullens and Hales. What could they have possibly done? I mean, they hadn't even lived here two months and he went crazy. He and Charlie didn't even speak until Bella came to town.

Bella.

She'll talk to me, but her heart isn't really in the conversation. I just want her to notice me. I mean, I think I'd make a good boyfriend. After all, I am a good _friend_. We obviously have some connection. We get along great and have a lot on common.

She's just blinded by the first pretty-boy face. Edward Cullen scares the crap outta me, honestly. Him and his sister Alice. I try not to pay attention to the others. All of the kids seem pretty untouchable, but the others seem to be on their own pedestals, especially the Hale twins.

All I want is more of Bella's attention. I just don't want to get it by scaring her...


	15. Forever, right?

-1**Forever, right?**

For my entire existence, I have never known someone like Isabella... Bella.

It was an obvious thing that she would be attracted to Edward, Alice, and the others. After all, that is why we have these inhumanly good looks. Edward can attest to the thoughts of humans when they look at us.

But there is something in her that looks past the ethereal appearances and is apparently attracted to the...what?

The danger?

The abnormality of the situation?

Charlie, her father, says she is an accident magnet. He told me I'd most likely be seeing a lot of her, but I'm sure he didn't mean it to be how it is now. Attending to her in the ER is something entirely different to having her in my home, with Edward.

And I must say that Charlie was one hundred percent right.

Bella seems to be pulled toward our personalities, jumping past the hurdles of beauty, immortality and an unnatural thirst.

With each day, she gets closer, to us as _people_ and to the truth. I wonder how my old friends would react to hearing of this occurrence. Would they kill her on the spot? Surely Marcus would...Or perhaps feed on her without delay, not bothering to assess the situation? Aro would be amazed, to say the least. He'd be the only one to keep a level head. Even Caius would jump too soon.

Visitors are coming. Alice says they may change their minds, but with Bella's scent, everything is up in the air. Let us all hope they do not smell her. I fear what Edward might do to them, and we do not need a war amongst our kind with the Quileute nearby. Then again, it _is_ inevitable. Still, I'd rather it not break out until after Bella settles with us. Alice talks of how it will be soon, but knowing how stubborn Edward is on the subject of Bella's pure soul, we may be in for a long wait.

But that's okay. We have all the time in the world, right?

And as long as Esme is near, I'm willing to wait.


	16. Game

-1**Game**

Looking across the room, she walks in with such confidence. But I can smell it on her.

The fear.

_Mom?_ she whispers. How endearing. Too bad she isn't here.

For now, I am your audience, Bella. This performance is just for the two of us. But don't worry. I'll tape if for posterity. Your boyfriend will _love_ it. And I'll make sure to include something for that pixie of a girl.

The images of her younger self flash in her eyes and she is speechless. _Lovely_. She's making this oh-so easy. I'm elated, yet disappointment is there. My hunger is slowly squelching that feeling, though.

She's not even upset over the trickery. Odd, odd girl. She cares so little for herself and so much for her mother and the rest of her coven, and this intrigues me.

I wait for her to make a speech. Proclaim how _Edward_ will come to kill me, reciprocate her murder with mine, yet, she is quiet like a mouse.

Such a _romantic_ girl. Nonetheless, she has yet to realize the chase is done; I only wait for her to move one small twitch. That will start the true game. I will savor the moment her mate comes in and sees me over her bloody corpse, relishing in her delightful essence. His madness will be my ultimate prize.

I stride forward and set the camera just so and tell the tale of that fey-girl. The only one to escape me.

Salt in the wound.

A fair trade, if I must say.

Bella just stands in place, watching me circle her. To test her reaction skills, I crouch, as if to pounce. She bites. However, my instincts take over and the bloodlust is in control.

I attack, hardly aware or caring of how--just as long as I get her lifeblood.

Now.

I regain a part of myself to notice what I've done to the mirror.

Interesting...

She screams for Edward to _not_ come.

Silly chit.

For not, the uncontrollable need burns and I need it now.

A growl escapes my lips and I've barely sipped her when I feel myself pulled away. I smell _him!_

My bones break and fire consumes me...nothing...


	17. Sweet Revenge

-1**Sweet Revenge**

Anger.

Revenge.

Hunger.

Hate.

Despair.

These are the things I think and feel now. I have felt nothing since that silly chase ended.

Thirst.

This is inevitable, being what I am. But it is an empty feeling.

Loneliness.

I haven't felt this since I was human. Never have I wanted companionship. A mate, a lover, yes. But never someone to be _around_ just because. That fool Laurent left us before the true hunt, and James is dead.

I have no one.

Nothing but my hate.

My hunger is never really satiated lately. Sometimes, I feel it is too much. Those times, I go for the humans _and_ animals. Nothing can fill me now.

Anger takes over my senses. James left me on that fool's scent, Laurent because he was an idiot, and even my family when I was human. Orphaned. That is how I feel.

Revenge is the only thing on my mind. But for now, I will wait. I can see that girl and her coven every day. They are lazy and obviously not worried about me. Good. It's better they forget about me right now. I can make my revenge more sweet that way. I'll let that girl, Bella, and her mate Edward have their summer together. Then, the real hunt will begin.

I will do it for James. There are two in that coven that got away from him. I will avenge his honor by making the murder and feast of that bitch truly worthwhile. I will bathe myself in her blood and rejoice in the fact that her heart beats no more.


	18. The Sharper Side of Words

-1The Sharper Side of Words

Words.

People find words to be meaningless sometimes, but they are far from right. Words _really_ can be mightier than a sword. They can go straight for the heart, pierce the soul, and shatter your emotions.

When Reneé left, I experienced a dagger of words, aimed for the heart. I was able to recover, for time does heal our wounds. But when Bella spoke the words, they felt so **final**. As history repeats itself, so does a mother like daughter. I've no idea if Reneé ever told Bella what she said to me, but it was almost word for word.

On the outside, I was paralyzed. I could barely utter any words, let alone try and stop my daughter. My mouth was wide open, words were on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn't say anything to that. I swallowed what I had planned on saying and begged for her to stay.

I was prepared to get on my knees, but I could see that I wasn't the only one ready to fall apart. Bella looked beyond tears, beyond any stage of anger or desperation. In her eyes, I could see _fear_. Today, I have yet to figure out if it was fear on me trying to stop her or if it was a deeper fear. Something that I didn't know about, something far more dark than any high school girl should know about. There was definitely a shadow in her eyes.

She walked out the door that night. She walked out with less finality than her mother did, but it felt just the same, if not worse. Even as the echoes of the slammed door vibrated through the walls, I felt like it was all beyond my control. Yet there was a hope that said I could stop her. I went to the door, opened it and looked for her.

She was already gone.

I stumbled back to the couch and fell into it. I could feel something growing in the pit of my stomach. At first, I couldn't place it, but then I realized it was something I hadn't felt in years;

the urge to cry.

To sob uncontrollably.

After I called her mother, I laid back on the couch, mentally and physically exhausted. I dosed, and dreamed that Bella was gutting my insides out, I was the fish that she had just caught. I woke up and jumped off the couch. My search for Bella continued.

When Reneé when to Bella in Phoenix and found her in the hospital, I almost had an aneurism. The first thoughts that had crossed my mind were that the boy Edward had gone after her too and done something. But I let out an overwhelming sigh of relief when Reneé called and told me of how Bella had been her usual clumsy self.

It was then that I had to admit, through thick and thin, good or bad, Bella would always have two left feet in every sense.

I chuckled wearily at the whole situation.

It was only when Bella came home, cast and all, that I let out my worries and frustrations. I yelled at her, hugged her fiercely. Questioned her and grounded her.

In the end, I was glad she was back, that I wasn't left alone _again_.

I honestly can't see life without her, even if college isn't that far away.

What would I do without my little cook and maid.


	19. Bliss

-1Bliss

I always thought that the term 'bliss' was overrated. That is was an easy placeholder for happiness, something that the poets used. Never had I felt _bliss_, so therefore, it was rational for me to think it a fairytale.

A myth.

Yes, there were things that made me extremely happy, or pleased with myself even. My family, along with giving me unending grief and frustration, gives me a happiness that fills me with contentment. A successful hunt is another on the list.

Yet, I stand in Forks, smiling like a fool, on Bella's front porch, waiting.

_Blissful._

My head in the clouds, the thoughts of my damnation pushed to the nether regions of my mind. The thoughts of the town hushed, like they knew I wanted peace and needed to know _what exactly_ bliss was.

My answer started toward the door, I could hear her coming down the stairs. I waited, and heard it.

She had hit her leg against the last step... again.

_Bella..._I call.

She hurries to the door and swings it open. I frown, taking in her appearance.

She'd obviously refused Alice's help...again.

Still, she smiles like the girl I _love_.

I smile, inward and out. I'd never thought I'd ever use that word for anyone other than my brothers and sisters and parents. Then again, bliss was another thing I'd been dubious about as well.

As I follow the hobbling girl in front of me, I smile at her attempt to try and walk normal. Who exactly is she trying to fool?

_Bella, love..._

I receive an indignant glare for my efforts to help her with anything.

Still, I don't mind sitting here in her father's kitchen, just as long as I can watch her. Watch over her always.

She asks why I'm smiling so big and I tell her.

I know true bliss, and it's source is in Forks.


	20. Reckless Abandon

-1**Reckless Abandon**

She can't believe everything that's happened to her in the last six months.

It all seems so surreal, so movie-made. Too perfect, with the twist of danger, aside of course. Leaving her home, the one place where she felt comfortable, at peace, was supposed to be the worst thing that could happen to her teenage life. She was supposed to sulk, cry, resist most attempts at friendship, and go back to her mother before school got out. She was supposed to hate the idea of living with Charlie, of being friends with the school gossip…being school gossip.

But no. Nothing ever turns out how you plan.

Instead, she somehow was saved from death several times, acquired a taste for the solitude that was included in Charlie's home, and gained the trust and love of someone who was just _perfect_, literally. Her friends were in no short supply, nor were the members of her second family to would protect her until the end.

In the end, the plan had been blown to smithereens and left with reckless abandon.

And that was how she felt every time she was around him. She felt so giddy and carefree that rarely did it ever cross her mind that she was doing one of the craziest things known to man. She was dating the predator. Of course, she wasn't senseless enough to do something to break either of their self control. That would mean disaster for all of them, not to mention heartbreak on all sides.

But then again…

There were times, that summer, when she wanted to throw every caution, every ounce of control she'd ever owned out the door. She wanted to let go of her restraints, to truly be _free_.

What could be better than being free with Edward?

She wanted to know every thought Edward had. To know what he felt when they were together, when they were apart. She wished that they would know everything about each other, including their emotions.

She wanted him to feel reckless abandon with her.


	21. There For You

-1There For You

I want to be there for you.

I want you to want me here.

Sometimes, I think I am being selfish. I know I don't deserve you. I know I can't always be there. But still...

I want to be there for you.

I see passion in your eyes; the closest I can get you your thoughts. I do know I can hear whispers in your innocence. I hear the unspeakable words you cannot say when you say something so simple, so inconsequential.

I want to be there for you.

I want to protect you from those who have lingering eyes. After all, I _do_ hear _their_ words, the thoughts they think no one else can hear.

It is only your scent that can break me, twist my mind and shape me into whatever you please.

Please, do. I want to be whatever you want.

Sometimes, I feel the illusion of perfection. The one thing I know I can never be. I am perfect with only your strength. I feed off of your faultlessness.

In all honesty, I don't mind saving you. I'd rescue you a hundred times. I just wish the things you got yourself into were less...lethal.

I will always be there for you.

Whether you like it or not,

Whether _I_ like it or not.

What people think, I care not. I just want to take you away.

Seclude you so only I am there, so nothing can harm you.

I just want to be with you always, always there for you.

It drives me mad.


	22. Fools

**Fools**

What silly beings they are!

They confound me, anger me, and are utterly impossible.

Aro had said that his friend, Carlisle's family was odd, but this—I never expected it like this!

The girl was so odd, like a faerie from myths. To be able to tell the future?

Madness!

I wonder at times, how she would react to...but Aro told me no. At times, when he speaks of her talents, I can tell he is much more amused by it than my own. Mainly just because it is new, I am sure.

Edward...

The one who came to us for help, depressed over his _human_ lover's death. How sickening.

That boy himself makes me ill. How he writhes in pain without a sound on the floor at our feet...despicable.

I was all for letting him beg, plead for death. Even more jealousy arose when Aro touched his palm and saw his memories. Saw that Edward had a gift like his own! That fool...

Then the main character in this tragic love tale. The heart of the problem...What kind of vampire needs a heart? Why not cut it out, bleed it dry?

That girl's blood is salivating. I nearly drooled like a newborn when I first caught a full whiff of it. I was immediately ashamed. This Isabella...A trifle shock when we all met her. Marcus' claimed to see one of the strongest bonds ever between her and Edward...but I never have liked that gift. It's always too subjective.

Why can't I just eat her so we can be done? Make Edward and the faerie leave Carlisle's coven for the Volturi? She's obviously nothing but trouble; and what's worse—she knows all about the vampire race and of the Volturi!

I relish the day I will be able to drink her sweet blood, snapping her tender human neck and ending her useless existence.


	23. Never Forget

Never Forget

I don't know why she's doing this.

Honestly, she's crazy. Everyone here thinks she's not in her right mind.

I mean, _marrying a vampire?_

She's such an idiot. How many times have I told her that _I_ loved her? That she could have me? She doesn't need that leech.

The imprinting stories are nothing. Everyone seems to have imprinted but Leah, Seth and me.

...Then again, _can_ Leah imprint?

Every night, I loose myself. Transforming into the hated creature of her lover. I roam the trees, howl at the stars and chase small game while my problems chase after me, nipping at my tail.

I always manage to avoid getting caught by my ghosts. But I'm afraid that one day, I will succumb. I will end up like the old man who couldn't change back into human form.

Ha. Maybe Bella would prefer that more. She always did seem to like me more in my wolf form. She was more agreeable with me, then.

I know she doesn't want to marry him. Sure, she wants to be with him..._forever_...but matrimony isn't at the top of her favorites list.

I understand that. I understand her.

That family of leeches apparently doesn't.

The rare nights that _Edward_ isn't there, I watch over her.

I know he wouldn't like it, but someone's got to watch over our little klutz.

I want to cry every time I think it, but I always do.

She's _our_ klutz. I hate having to share her heart with that creature.

But at least I know there's hope. Hope that I'll always be lingering inside her.

She will _never_ forget me.


End file.
